Part 3: Achieving Balance
Achieving balance. It seems like a mystical magical goal, doesn’t it?
Actually, it isn’t. But it just starts with you really understanding who you are and “whose” you are… You almost need to get a PhD in knowing yourself… So, it starts with a little bit of reflection…
First—Dream a little!
Give yourself regular time that is totally unscheduled —even if it’s just a few hours initially—to take a good look at your life.
What’s working?
What isn’t?
Is it chaotic and crazy?
Are you merely surviving or are you thriving?
If you could create the ideal routine, what would it look like?
Write it down. Ponder it some more. Imagine everything about that ideal life.
Where would you live?
What would you eat for breakfast?
How would you spend your day?
What do you see?
What do you feel?
What do you hear?
What do you smell?
Who is there with you?
Get detailed! And, put it on paper. once you truly know who you are, what makes you took, and what you really want out of this world, then, and only then, can you go about creating specific small goals to get there…
Look at the existing things on your calendar: your daily routine, work, and other commitments…
Do they bring you joy?
Are they Kingdom projects—meaning, do they help you grow?
Do God’s work? Help others?
Do they bring you closer to God?
Does life the way it stands lead you to this dream life that you have envisioned?
If not, it is time to have a serious conversation with yourself. It’s okay to make changes—even if that scares you!
We all have the same 24 hours in the day, but within that framework, we have choices! If you are committed regularly to something that zaps your time and energy & is not bringing you joy or closer to the Kingdom, take it off your plate as soon as you are able!
Next, take inventory of the people in your life day to day.
Do you share the same values?
Do they build you up or break you down?
Are they negative forces or positive ones?
Do they truly know your heart & do you know theirs—at a deeper level—or do you have safe, surface conversations?
If you truly needed them, would they be there for you —or do you have a one-sided relationship where you constantly give, & do not receive back—at least even occasionally.
You are not a perfect human. There is not such a thing! So, if you are going through something tough—a period of growth—and you mess up and apologize, do you have friends, who are capable of forgiveness, grace, and compassion? Can you have honest and thought-provoking conversations with people without risk of ruining the friendship because they might not feel the same?
I call these types of relationships “heart friends.” They are the ones who will be there for you and you for them during the thick and thin, with emotional integrity, grit & substance.
It is said that you are a sum of the five people with whom you spend the most time. It could be time to reassess your circle. It’s OK to let go of relationships that are no longer serving us. That can feel like loss and grief initially but sometimes we have to let go of some relationships so that we can make room for others that are going to bring us closer to our kingdom purpose… and we can walk away, gracefully, without judgment. It doesn’t mean that we deem these people bad. But, perhaps we were meant to be linked together for a brief chapter in one another’s lives, and we can look back family on special memories shared.
As you reflect on who you are, and who you are spending the most time with, come back tomorrow, & we will finish the fourth and final chapter on how to find true balance in your life…
